Seeing as preparedness is key, I’ve compiled a list of some of the best things you can do with your time once you’re unemployed.
- Find a corporate entity that you don’t particularly like and TAKE THEM DOWN.
- A friend told me a story about a mysterious panther that has been spotted off a walking trail in Wollongong. Conduct a mission to locate it. But voyage at your own peril. I will not be held responsible when the panther gouges out a section of your upper thigh.
- Shoot a time-lapse in as many different cities as you can drag your jobless ass through.
- Volunteer your time teaching a class in something you’re good at. Even if it’s something rather silly. Here are a few I’d sign up for in a heartbeat:
- Whistling, for those that still can’t and have tried EVERYFUCKINGTHING.
- Understanding Inception, a detailed workshop series explaining the science behind sci-fi films. In such a class, one should be allowed to ask as many questions as they like and never be called stupid.
- Hashtagging For Beginners, #dos and #donts? #dosanddonts? #dosand #donts?
- The Science Behind Beat Boxing. An in-depth study of the vocal cords allowing students an insight into how it is possible to have two voices without being possessed. Spoiler: IT’S NOT.
- Devote your life to engineering a perfect scent, the greatest perfume of all time. Call it Elon. Post the formula online in the name of open sourcing.
- Adopt more puppies than you could ever have imagined caring for. Spend all the days rolling around on the floor with them.
- Perform some extensive research into Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch’s family history. Lady needs a recipe.
- Dig deep into your dark, dark soul and ignite a spark of altruism. Volunteer some time aiding the less fortunate.
- Wolfpack it… Gather your pals, learn the lines to your favourite films and recreate them. If completed with the necessary attention to detail, this can take decades.
- Rush small children on the street and preach to them about the technologies of old. Carry a printed newspaper just so you can fling it at them while making your point. Be sure to collect said newspaper after flinging. Lord knows if you’ll ever find another.
- Study something, just for the heck of it.
- Become a conspiracy nut. You’ll get to put together one of those “mad-guy” pin boards with scratchy lines of red marker that connect important clues and take shaky hand-held video footage outside the gates of government facilities. Dammit thats a good one.