What to do with your time once you’re unemployed

John C Bullas kills, dries and artfully positions flies when he's bored...
John C Bullas kills, dries and artfully positions flies when he’s bored…

Seeing as preparedness is key, I’ve compiled a list of some of the best things you can do with your time once you’re unemployed.

  • Find a corporate entity that you don’t particularly like and TAKE THEM DOWN.
  • A friend told me a story about a mysterious panther that has been spotted off a walking trail in Wollongong. Conduct a mission to locate it. But voyage at your own peril. I will not be held responsible when the panther gouges out a section of your upper thigh.
  • Shoot a time-lapse in as many different cities as you can drag your jobless ass through.
  • Volunteer your time teaching a class in something you’re good at. Even if it’s something rather silly. Here are a few I’d sign up for in a heartbeat:
      • Whistling, for those that still can’t and have tried EVERYFUCKINGTHING.
      • Understanding Inception, a detailed workshop series explaining the science behind sci-fi films. In such a class, one should be allowed to ask as many questions as they like and never be called stupid.
      • Hashtagging For Beginners, #dos and #donts? #dosanddonts? #dosand #donts?
      • The Science Behind Beat Boxing. An in-depth study of the vocal cords allowing students an insight into how it is possible to have two voices without being possessed. Spoiler: IT’S NOT.
  • Devote your life to engineering a perfect scent, the greatest perfume of all time. Call it Elon. Post the formula online in the name of open sourcing.
  • Adopt more puppies than you could ever have imagined caring for. Spend all the days rolling around on the floor with them.
  • Perform some extensive research into Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch’s family history. Lady needs a recipe.
  • Dig deep into your dark, dark soul and ignite a spark of altruism. Volunteer some time aiding the less fortunate.
  • Wolfpack it… Gather your pals, learn the lines to your favourite films and recreate them. If completed with the necessary attention to detail, this can take decades.
  • Rush small children on the street and preach to them about the technologies of old. Carry a printed newspaper just so you can fling it at them while making your point. Be sure to collect said newspaper after flinging. Lord knows if you’ll ever find another.
  • Study something, just for the heck of it.
  • Become a conspiracy nut. You’ll get to put together one of those “mad-guy” pin boards with scratchy lines of red marker that connect important clues and take shaky hand-held video footage outside the gates of government facilities. Dammit thats a good one.

Shayni Notelovitz

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “What to do with your time once you’re unemployed

  1. Here’s a few more I think you might’ve missed:

    Best:
    – Spend between 3-6 months gathering plastic and glass bottles and cans so that you can drive to a SA/NT collection depot and trade them in for 5/10/25c each. I guess this could be a job. Actually a robot is probably already doing this.
    – Take a fluorescent vest and scout out broken traffic lights where you can step in and help direct traffic.
    – Break a Guinness World Record. There’s so many different ones that virtually everyone can break one. If you think of one that doesn’t exist, then you can organise to officially break it!

    Worst:
    – Do you uni work. Though why would you waste your time? It won’t get you a job now anyway.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s